Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Lessons from Preschool: Because I'm Turning 30 Soon

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 
Ephesians 3:20


It all started with Cleo Heddie.  She was the sweetest little baby you've ever seen. She was so quiet and snuggly, a real delight to be around. And, I just knew she liked me better than anyone else in the whole wide world. Oh, how I wished she was mine! But, alas, every Monday morning, she had to be returned to the cold, hard crib behind my preschool teacher's desk. 

You see, on my first day of 4-year-old preschool, my teacher told the students that we'd each get to take sweet little Cleo Heddie home for a weekend. Well, maybe it was just the girls. I'm sure she had something equally manly to delight the boys, but that's not the point of this story. :)

When I heard the news, I felt as if I'd won a million dollars! A baby for a whole weekend? I couldn't believe it!

At last, my turn rolled around, and Cleo Heddie was MINE for 3 magical nights! I'd never seen a baby so beautiful!

I bathed her gently, fed her regularly, and rocked her sweetly before laying her down in her crib right beside my bed. I was the best four-year-old mom a little Cabbage Patch baby doll could want! Cleo Heddie was my favorite, and she became a regular guest at my house. 

And so began my deep love of babies.

I love the smell, the gear, the noises they make. All of it! Growing up, I wanted nothing more than to be mama to a houseful of babies. 

But, that wasn't God's plan, at least not yet. 

Because of breast cancer treatment, I can't have babies. Not a single one. And because of my medical history, I'm not a good candidate to adopt. 

And you know what? I'm 100% okay with that. I delight in it, actually. 

Now don't get any ideas, this wasn't my plan and I wouldn't choose it. But it was God's plan and I'm ecstatic to live it. 

Only by His power, can I say, "I don't even want a baby." God moved me from a 21-year position of wanting nothing more than being a mom, to a new place of wanting nothing more than being obedient. Being a servant. Being who He wants me to be. 

It's fun. 

The moral of this story is...
If you're finding yourself in a place today where the dreams of your heart are unmet and unmatched, rest in the knowledge that God can change them. Sure, He can fulfill them, too. But, trust the word of my testimony; His changes are good. 

Blessings, sweet dreamers!

Lindsey Pond


Lori said...

Girl, this post made me cry! You may be younger than me (in age) but I learn something from you with every blog post! Your faith, your heart, your positive outlook, everything is always an inspiration! You handle life in a way not many can even fathom....complete and total faith and obedience to God. So glad I know you!!!! (Now the teacher in you can pick apart these fragmented sentences and punctuation errors!)

Lori said...

Love this post..such wise words.

Anonymous said...

Dear Lindsey,

I read your blog regularly for a year or so while you were going through cancer treatments, etc. and remember praying for you during that time! When I found out you were cancer free I was so happy for you! For whatever reason I haven't visited your blog in quite a while, but was reminded just now of what an encouragement it is-- what an encouragement YOU are.

This was exactly what I needed to read today.

I got married a couple of years ago, and my marriage fell apart not long after it started. It is a terribly long story but suffice it to say that I was 18, we started out wrong, and I was not safe with him. I actually prayed one day that the Lord would deliver me if I should not be in that situation, and within 2 hours He got me out of there. I was so heartbroken last night thinking about it all, and wrote in my journal that I am sad that this is my story. Immediately though I felt this pang in my heart for writing that because I SHOULD NOT be sad. This is NOT the life I had imagined for myself, but this is the life HE has given me. Though I am heartbroken over the choice I made, I believe that God can turn it around and glorify Himself.
I have been walking around for a while feeling as though I am defined by what I did-- and the fact that I now will have the awful label of "divorced". I remember thinking that people who are divorced must not have really cared about their marriages, etc. etc. (just imagine all sorts of extremely judgmental thoughts on divorce running through my head). To be on the other side of all of those judgmental thoughts though is humbling to say the least. And I realize now that they aren't true for everyone. Heck-- why would I think I could EVER judge someone on such a personal issue anyways??

Oh to see myself with other labels such as "redeemed", "forgiven", and "loved". That is the place I'd like to be. Your blog has helped me see that... so thank you :)

The commenter above mentioned you picking apart fragmented sentences and punctuation errors, so you should have fun picking apart mine :)

I promise I don't write research papers this way! ;)