So, this day has consisted of Bible study, prayer, lots of couch time, taking down the Christmas tree, a brisk walk in the sun, pizza making (gluten-free, of course), and just good old-fashioned nothingness. Don't you love days like that? I sure do!
I told you in my last post that I'm reading my way through Genesis. What a blessing that's been! I have really been encouraged by reading about the impossiblities in Abraham's life that God turned into possibilities.
Too old for children? ............................... God made him the Father of Nations!
No wife for Isaac? ................................... God provided Rebekah from their homeland!
Called to sacrifice Isaac? ...................... God provided a ram!
You see, it's been encouraging to me to see that God made good on every single thing that He promised to Abraham. And, you know what else has been encouraging? Abraham had moments of disbelief and doubt, and God brought him through those. Remember when Abraham and Sarah became impatient and Abraham conceived Ishmael through Hagar? That wasn't God's perfect plan, yet God still delivered on His promises. Can you relate to that?
Have you had moments when fear and doubt creep into your thoughts? Sure you have! That's human nature. Our human nature is to look at the facts, the circumstances, the situation and make our own judgments. But, I believe that God has called us to live a Spirit-filled life where we trust Him, even when it doesn't make sense, even when it's hard, even when the world says, "You ARE NUTS!" That's what I'm asking Him to help me do.
Yesterday, as I endured a 45-minute brain MRI and a PET scan that took 2 1/2 hours, I had to constantly ask for God to grant me trust. Y'all, please know that this is an IMPOSSIBLE feat without Christ. Without His constant help, my mind is a mess. It is full of Satan's lies and attacks. That's human nature. That's Lindsey.
As I laid in scanning tubes and dark rooms, I just kept praying, "God, I trust you. I need you to hover over me and fill my mind with your truths. Protect me from Satan's attacks on my mind, my body, and my spirit. I can't do this without you."
This whole thing has been an interesting process. I think that I understand salvation much better now than when I became a Christian at the ripe old age of 6. Now, I understand how we need to, not only, ask Jesus into our heart, but transform our minds and hearts so they are Him, and not us. Now, I think I have a better view of redemption. We are hopeless without Him.
So, that's my two cents for today. :)
A few prayer requests:
1. One of the biggest side effects of radiation (especially whole brain) is extreme fatigue. I'm really starting to feel this. It's not that I'm just constantly sleepy, it's just like I can get up and attem for a while, and then I have to rest for a bit. I'm just not quite my usual, energetic self. Can you please pray that the Lord would restore my energy?
2. Tomorrow afternoon, Brian and I are headed back to Houston. Please pray for safe travel.
3. I am seeing Dr. Alvarez (MD Anderson oncologist) on Monday at 8:20am. Sure would appreciate your specific prayers over that appointment. First, I'll be receiving test results. Please pray that I would constantly remember that these results change nothing, regardless of what they say. If I allow it, I could have a lot of fear about them. Also, please pray God's wisdom and guiding hand over Dr. Alvarez as he makes treatment recommendations. Pray that the Lord would guide my treatment and protect me from harmful treatments.
Thank you so much for continuing along on this journey with us. I can't imagine life without my blog friends! I love y'all more than you know!
(P.S. If you've emailed me lately, please be patient with my reply. Know that I've read every word, but I've been away from my computer most days, and I've got a full inbox that I'm trying to slowly work through. This in no way, represents a lack of appreciation for your email. :)