Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Uneventful. (Mostly)

Well, folks, please forgive me for taking a day off from the blogosphere. I'll be honest when I say that crafting a post wasn't on the top of my priority list in the last several hours.

Yesterday, me and the pups stayed home. It was wonderful. I RARELY get to be by myself these days, and I'm a big lover of alone time. I just like quietness and time to decompress without other people around me. I guess I'm a loner in some ways.

The dogs are always a stress relief on cleaning days. I mean, just look at them? Don't your worries just melt away? Those two love each other with their whole hearts. It's precious.

Anyway, we spent our day of serenity and solitude by cleaning. You guys know that I clean stress away, and the house was in need of a pick-me-up, so it seemed like the likely solution. I think I overdid it. Okay, okay. I KNOW I overdid it. Sometimes I forget that I'm in treatment for cancer, praise the Lord, and I just try to pattern my life after the Energizer Bunny. Granted, it's not the best plan. Brian made me fully aware of that (and so did my body).

This morning, my severe headache woke me up at 5:00AM. Yesterday, I started trying to taper off of my steroids, per my doctor's orders. I quickly took my medicine and sat in the recliner for a bit. Until....

I felt the urge. You know the one, and I'm not going to be graphic, but it ended with my head hung over the toilet. Then, I ran my fingers through my tender hair, and a big 'ole clump hung in my hand. I didn't mean to, but I started crying.

I wasn't at my best. In fact, I was at one of my worsts. I felt AWFUL. My head was pounding to the point that I could barely walk, and I couldn't sleep. I was completely nauseous. AND, my hair was coming out in massive amounts.

So, I did what any woman would do. I woke my husband. "Brian, can you talk to me for a second?" I sobbed.

He immediately sat up with a start, "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

I told him of my struggles, and he immediately hugged me close and reassured me that it would be okay. Why is it that just the very rhythmic breathing pattern of the one you love can immediately set your heart straight? I don't know, but it did. Before I knew it, I was back asleep.

Then, when I woke up again I tried to make a smoothie, and the same horrendous feelings came over me. I thought, "I'm going to collapse right here and now!" I went back to bed and called the doctor's office. "I am 100% sure that you need to increase your steroid dose. The headaches and vomiting are just a result of swelling and inflammation. Take your steroid with food and call me back this afternoon if you aren't feeling better."

I thought, "Okay. Great. I can do that, except for I can't stand long enough to make a protein smoothie."

So, again, I called in the reinforcements. God is good. My mom works a literal minute away from my new home. She was here in no time to save the day for me. Mom's are like that. They'll drop everything for their kids, no matter how old they get.

Before long, after drinking my smoothie and taking my steroid, I was an entirely new woman. Crazy!

Now, I'm feeling pretty good. I've learned my lesson about doing too much. Rest, rest, rest. That's the motto.

Stay tuned for the tale of Lindsey's hair. My head is EXTREMELY tender and sore. And, I'm not being dramatic about it coming out in handfuls. So, we'll see what happens with that. But, I can honestly say that I've surrendered it to the Lord, and I'm rejoicing in His perfect care. A perk to no hair is the reduced getting ready time. And, I detest getting ready!

So, the moral of the story today is REST in Him! I think many women (me included) feel the need to go, go, go. And, I'm starting to realize that this is NOT God's plan for us. Matthew 6:31 is a wonderful verse to guide you through the hustle and bustle of the holidays.

And He said to them, "Come away by yourselves to a lonely place and rest a while." For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.


10 comments:

podso said...

I trust you can rest much and in the love of Jesus this Christmas, in His greatest gift, ... remembering He lovingly knows each hair on your head, and I'm thinking he even knows what it feels like when they come off.

Julie-CA said...

I love you Lindsey. I am so glad you are feeling better now and thata the docs advice was accurate. I wanted to find a poem to send you on hair and found this one right away. I also write worship songs and poetry and all so am also planning on writting you something and sending it soon. For now, this poem from out in google land is still from my heart to yours.

Ode to my Hair

Oh how I love my short black hair

To be losing it now just don’t seem fair

But how can I complain about mere hair

When the Lord sees fit my life to spare


But still as I watch the strands come out

I laugh, I cry, I cringe, I shout

I see more of my scalp with each passing day

And know soon my hair will be all gone away


The wig I chose is actually pretty good

It fits my head just the way that it should

And I got a few hats that make me look sassy

Plus a silky black turban that’s really quite classy


I hear that when it starts growing back

It may come in blonde instead of black

Now that would certainly be a sight to see!

Would anyone even recognize me?


All in all, I will try not to despair

Over temporary loss of my short black hair

For the loss is merely a small sacrifice

For the blessing of living a long healthy life

Anonymous said...

Oh my, I am really speechless right now after reading this post. My heart hurts for you. For everything your going through right now. The pain your feeling. Your hair. You still amaze me with your strength and love for our Lord. I'm sure there are bad days for you. But I don't recall ever reading you asking God why, why me again and again. You are truly an inspiration to me. Praying for you!
Tressa

one of nettie's girls said...

In the words of my sister Nora "I have GOT to stop reading Lindseys' post when I am at work!" Everyone wonders why I am sobbing at my desk I am sure. It amazes me that the love of God can knit together the hearts of people who have never met in person. Dennis and I are praying daily for you. Just this morning I prayed for your head to not be so tender. I trust that will be the case shortly.

Elizabeth said...

so glad today has been a better day for you. i'm praying for you as always.

Paula said...

Lindsey & Brian,
I have to say that Anonymous said it best. You never ask why, you just suffer with smile, even if it does come later.
You are precious. I hope that your tenderness goes away quickly.
It is okay for a "busy" woman to rest physically while resting in our Lord.
Stormin His Throne on your behalf.
The Chaffin's

Emily said...

Lindsey-Has your doc provided you with Ondansetron for the nausea? This is what my daughter took during her chemo/radiation and it is AWESOME. There are no side effects and relief comes in about 15 minutes! I have taken it myself several times.

k_stin said...

So sorry for the difficult morning, but what a blessing that your mom could come to your rescue.

Also, I'm so sorry about your hair. I have no idea how hard it must be to lose it. I just wanted to say, though, that I truly think that you are beautiful with or without your hair. :-)

Alabamamom said...

I love you so much even though we've never met personally. Kelley and I are praying for you daily.
Rest sweet girl!

c said...

Lindsey,

I seriously think you could be my long lost sister. I can completely relate to the need for time alone, the stress relief through cleaning, and pushing yourself too hard. Having said all that, I am amazed at the strength you continue to show under such pressure. I hurt for you, and I pray for you to continue to feel strength and peace. Thank you for sharing this. I know I needed to hear it. Rest, relax, and have a very Merry Christmas.

Courtney