For women, I think fear is just as natural as hormones. Actually, the two have a lot in common. They both can control the stink out of us. And, they can ruin an entire day before we even realize what's come over us. Er, at least I think I'm not alone in this. Can I get an amen?
Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of loss. Fear of saying the wrong thing. Fear of looking the wrong way. Fear of having the wrong stuff. I've lost a lot of mind battles because of the sheer presence of fear.
This evening, I was curled up in my new bedroom on my bed. Just like always, I had my inspirational tunes filling the air and my softie wrapped tightly around me. And, I just sat before the Lord and asked Him to pour His truth into my life.
He centered my mind on fear. He took me to countless references in the Bible where we are commanded to have NO fear. That's right, fear is a sin. Did you catch that? When we allow fear to control our thoughts, we are actually doubting God's goodness in our lives.
So, what's a girl to do?
I can assure you that I have a constant battle with fear. The mental/emotional and spiritual battle of a cancer diagnosis is hard. Very hard. It's constant. But, God has shown me a fail-proof way of stopping fear in its tracks.
Wasn't that easy? The very opposite of fear is faith. According to Hebrews 11:1 [NLT] "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see."
I have so much that I want to tell you today about what the Lord is teaching me about faith in Him, ALONE. But, I don't want to get long-winded. I understand the appeal of short posts. So, I think that I'll just get to the bottom line.
The opposite of fear is faith. Faith is believing that God has a good plan for our lives, even when the situation seems impossible.
My charge to you today is for you to take a long look at your thought life. What do you spend your time thinking about? What is consuming your thoughts? Are these thoughts from the Lord and the hope that He gives, or are they Satan's lies? Choose faith, dear one. Hope in Him. Believe in Him. Trust in Him.
One thing that sent my mind in this direction was thinking back over the past year. I remembered that one year ago today, we received news of my second recurrence. Remember this day? Tonight, I'm praising God for the change He's brought about in my heart. Last year, my knees were knocking in FEAR! Now, the joy of the Lord is my strength. Only because of Him, not because of me.
Let's let His work continue in each of us. I'm trying my very best to allow Him to renew my mind daily. Will you join me?
A few tidbits~
1. Today was my last day of work. It was bittersweet. I feel total relief to know that the Lord has provided the opportunity for me to retreat with Him for a while. But, I'll miss my work family terribly.
2. Down to 1 radiation treatment! Did you hear that? ONE!!! The last treatment is on Monday, and God has sustained me through these treatments each and every day. Pray that He will continue to do so!
3. For weeks I've had serious insomnia. I mean, serious! Like, I've been awake for 3-4 hours a night. Well, I realized yesterday (when my doctor told me) that my steroids are to blame. Unfortunately, I can't quit taking them quite yet, but I can lessen my dose. So, please pray for rest, rest, rest for me!
4. I'm having some minor headaches. This is totally normal when you have a craniotomy and follow it immediately with whole brain radiation. It's just a lot for the old noodle to handle. So, it takes me about 30 minutes in the mornings to get up and going. I wake up with a quite bad one. It's a weird headache, too. Like if I open my eyes or mouth to wide, it sends a sharp pain. Or, if I look too far in one direction, it causes pain. I know this sounds petty, but would you pray for this to end. It's annoying.
5. Pray for my sweet husband. You guys know that I love that guy with all that I have. I'm just in constant awe of his sweet care of me. He loves me like Christ loves the church, just like he's commanded to do. Anyway, pray for peace and rest for Brian. I often think that the spouse has a harder job than the patient. His new job is going well, but there is an overwhelming adjustment period in each one.
I love you guys more than you know! I appreciate you. I love your hearts for the Lord. And, I pray for you often. You are faithful friends of the heart!