My biggest aim right now is to live a life that is totally, completely saturated with the Holy Spirit. I don't know that I'm doing that 100% of the time, but I do know that life is far more peaceful and joyful when that's the case. I learned this lesson last year. You know, with the 2nd recurrence? Man, I spent about a week in all-out terror. You name it, and I cried about it. Until I think the very presence of God sat on my shoulder and said, "Fear or faith, woman! What's it going to be?" You've heard me talk of those moments where the mind games were almost too much. But, luckily, because of that experience, I haven't really gone through so much fear this time. That's the beauty of trials, they grow your faith and produce perseverance, just like the Bible teaches in James 1. Guess we can trust God's Word. :)
Now, I just know this is His. It makes me kind of angry when people want to discuss my poor prognosis. I get it, folks. The odds are against me, but I've never been a person to stick with the odds. I've always enjoyed a challenge. But, I just want to say to those people, "Do you not understand that the God of the Universe is on my side? Do you not get that He is Jehovah Rapha, The God who Heals? Don't you remember the dozens of accounts in the Bible where He proclaimed, 'Your FAITH has made you well?" See, those are the statistics with which I'm concerned. Those are the truths that count to me. I trust Him. He's proven that He's got this one, and we don't have to worry.
Let me tell you about a little old thing that I think about a lot. Okay. Okay. I worry about a lot. MY HAIR!!! Y'all, I just like looking feminine. Call me crazy, and I know in the grand scheme of things hair is NOT that big of a deal, but I just remember those yucky bald months where I felt that I looked like a bug.
So, I've been praying my heart out that the Lord would show up in my hair situation. I've thought a thousand times about the testimony that I gave at my church where I referenced my hair a couple of times. Obviously, this is an attack from the evil one. He knew my hair was a big deal. He sought out my weakness to attack.
Y'all, I believe that God is bigger than this attack. Last night, as I was brushing it and tugging on it to see if it was secure (it was!), I prayed, "God, I know that you are victorious over all things. I know that Satan's plan is to steal, kill, and destroy me and my joy. But, you've overcome him and the world. Overcome in this!"
Instantly, my thoughts were taken to the words of Luke 21:18-19, "But not a hair of your head will perish. Stand firm, and you will win life!"
You can't imagine the joy that overtook me in that moment of recalling God's Word. I'm standing in faith, knowing that God is a Miracle Worker. He's involved in every single detail, including my hair. And, I trust Him in this.
Will you pray those scriptures over me? I sure do appreciate it! Love you guys. Love you lots!