Sometimes the cost of a lesson learned is greater than I'm willing to pay. Yet, the Lord requires it anyway. In fact, through a series of unfortunate events, which now somehow seem more fortunate, my new plea in times of suffering is, "Lord, thank you for the lessons and revelations that are sure to come from this trial. Please help me not to miss a single one. Allow me to get it."
Just before my husband, Brian, and I began dating, my life existed in a season of intense suffering that I like to call "singleness". For many single adults, this is a time of pure joy. Not so for this young woman who was so ready to move beyond being single.
Sure, the freedom was wonderful. The bonds that I made with other single adults were special. But, in the end, my hear ached for "The One".
I nursed this ache with a number of things, but mostly I softened the blow by asserting my own independence. Many of my college friends were marrying and setting up homes, so I figured that I could set up my own home, too. I didn't need a man for that! With that, I set out to purchase my own home. And, at the age of 22, I did just that.
For about a year, the house was a wonderful distraction. I stayed busy painting, decorating, and creating my new space.
Then, as quickly as the excitement came, it also left. Suddenly, I knew that my home wasn't going to fill the void of "The One".
I became extremely involved in my church's young singles group. What a dynamic crew of people who seemed to love the Lord and each other! Finally, people who got it! They understood! I was a leader in this group, and I loved developing friendships. But, they were no replacement for "The One".
At last, gloominess began to overtake me. I felt apathetic and overlooked. On one particularly dark day, I received 3 shower invitations and 1 wedding invitation in the mail. That was IT! I finally had to hoist up my white flag in total surrender.
"You win, God! I get it!" I shouted aloud as I lay face first on the floor in my living room.
In that moment, when I finally yielded my life, with all of my hopes, dreams, and desires, to the Lord, a rush of peace and joy washed over me. Streams of tears poured down my cheeks and puddled on the hard floor before me.
"I understand that You, alone, are 'The One'. Nothing and no one can replace you. Nothing and no one can fill my hear like you do. There is none like you," I cried out honestly to God.
For once, I was truly giving him the control. At last, I knew what true surrender looked like. It was a matter of both the head AND the heart. And, what relief I felt!
From that day on, I was able to rest in God's goodness. That's not to say that I was always a masterful yielder, but I knew that when I heard Satan's lies creeping in to steal my joy, I could immediately crowd them out by whispering, "I trust God, ALONE."
The transformation that occurred in my heart and mind was incredible, truly a work of the Lord. And, would you believe that within a month, He led me to Brian, "The Other One"?
There is NO ONE like Him.