I so appreciate all of your honest comments on Seasons. I love having a community of commenters that feels comfortable enough to be honest. I've mentioned many times that authenticity is critically important to me. I don't think that there is any place in our lives for flattery.
Anyway, having said all of that, I think that I need to clarify my point.
My point was simply that I know that teaching is not a lifelong career for me. It is not something that I believe that I'll spend my life doing. The Lord could have other plans.
However, the fact that I don't feel the strong passion to teach that I once felt, does not equate to my total disinterest in my students. I have the best class that I've ever had. They are smart, creative, loving, and flexible. I know their brothers and sisters and their favorite colors. I know their living arrangements and home celebrations and struggles. I know their reading abilities and their favorite restaurants. I've prayed with their parents and supported them as they raise their children. I've visited hospitals to see students and fed students my lunch when they were too hungry to concentrate on math. So, I don't want to give the impression that I'm sitting like a bump on a log in my classroom and scowling at any student who dares approach me. We sing and play games and act out plays and use our creativity to teach ourselves, because I know that we are our own best teacher.
My grade level is a team of four great, young women. We truly care about each other and they have saved my sanity on more than one occasion this year, as I was in and out for 3 surgeries and countless doctors' appointments. We know each other's classes nearly as well as we know our own. We always say, "It takes a village..." The students have pride in their grade level like I've never seen before, and it will be bittersweet to see our little crew go.
So, perhaps I gave the wrong impression when I said, "ride out the insurance". Truly, I work for insurance. My life has been such that I certainly would've retired by now if it wasn't for the insurance. I've had 2 back-to-back school years where I've missed almost 1/3 of each one, due to cancer. I would guess that many people (women especially) would stay home to take care of their families if it was a financial possibility.
The main point is being yielded to the season in which God has placed us. For now, teaching is my season. It's just simply that I feel God moving my heart in other directions. I have no idea what they are, but I want to remain submitted to His plan for me today, and every day thereafter. My point is, submitting my life to God's call - not teaching. I don't loathe teaching, it's just that I love God, and I want to be usable for His good purposes in me.