Don't get me wrong, I love my doctor and her nurse. The staff is the sweetest that you can imagine, but there is just something so wrong about going to the cancer center to discuss a treatment plan. I hate it.
Brian met me at the appointment, and he quickly said, "Are you nervous or something?" I dismissed his accusation, but I was. I was full of anxiety.
After waiting over an hour, we finally got called back into the exam room, and we waited some more. Just before the doctor came in, I looked at Brian and said, "I'm about to start crying." I could feel the lump in my throat growing in size, and my eyes began to sting with tears. I hate it when I cry. I didn't want to cry, and Brian certainly didn't want me to cry. Beyond that, he couldn't seem to understand why I was upset. As much as I tried to explain the thousands of thoughts that have been journeying through my head for the past week or so, my efforts were useless. I'm pretty sure that, until you've been there, you just can't fully understand it.
I decided to grab the latest issue of Country Living to distract my mind. I thumbed through the pages, and was quickly absorbed into the charming homes that graced the magazine.
At last the doctor came in. She was upbeat and encouraging. She said that I looked fabulous, which never hurts a girl's ears :)
The bottom line is this -
Right now, the standard old yucky chemotherapy is not part of my regimen. Did you catch that?
For now, I'm hanging on to this hair that I've been coaxing out of my hard head for the past 15 months.
The plan is to re-stage me with a PET scan. I'll let you know the date of this when I find out, but big, big prayers needed for these results!
Then, I'll go through a yearlong regimen of Herceptin and Tykerb. These are chemo, but they are smart chemos. They only target the problem, not the whole body.
I don't have to go back to see my doctor for 2 months. 2 MONTHS!!! You have no idea how free this makes me feel.
I'm sure you can imagine the peace that is overwhelming my spirit tonight. I can actually see a little R&R coming my way. I'm sitting here at my computer, crying happy tears of relief.
To you, this might seem like good news, but not great news. But for me, it's huge. For the past few weeks I've been thinking, "Man, I'm just worn out. I need some rest. I need a break from all of this." But, I saw no end in sight. Now, I do.
Please know that this has the hand of God all over it. It is full of His presence and His provision. Oh, wow, He just captivates my heart a little more each day.
Have a great weekend! There will be much rejoicing on Pleasant Drive.