Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Hurdles

Hi, my sweet friends,

My mind is full as I sit down and write to you tonight. Today has been a roller coaster day. I woke up an hour late this morning, so I wasn't able to spend any time in the Word before my day began. I rushed through the morning, rushed off to school, and rushed through my day. But, God was near. He was present. And, my conversation with Him was ongoing today. I love days like that.

I left school this afternoon and headed to the cancer institute for my final radiation treatment. Can you believe that? I'm done. The thing that struck me as I was hopping off that table and walking to the changing room for the final time was, "This used to be so scary, but God brought me through it. And now it seems like nothing."

Have you ever noticed how things creep into our lives and seem like enormous feats? Then, when we look back on these things in a year or five years, they seem like no big deal, at all.

I have lots and lots of thoughts on this subject. But, today I realized that, if I believe in God's sovereignty and His goodness, then I truly have nothing to fear. He is good, regardless of how grim things might appear.

Today has been a particularly difficult day. For one, I haven't felt well, so that has sort of polluted my thoughts. But, for another, a lot of uncertainty and unknowns have emerged in Brian's job.

For those of you who don't know, Brian works in the oil and gas industry. This is the most volatile industry that you can imagine. When times are good, things are wonderful. But, when things get bad, they go downhill quickly.

At this point, we are not sure what the future holds for his job, but we know that the Lord holds the future. We are trusting him with his job. Can I ask you to pray for this situation for us? Would you please pray that the Lord would guide us as we make decisions about his employment.

As you can imagine, this has brought on a lot of worry in me. I'm sure that you realize that the loss of Brian's income would be detrimental to a young couple who has now paid for cancer for 19 straight months. And, I've had to step back and remind myself that fear and worry is not from the Lord, but from Satan. I have felt incredible oppression today as Satan has tried his best to take the glory off of God and His faithfulness through radiation, and put it on himself and his destruction in Brian's job.

This has forced me to recall that I'm either with God or with Satan, and there is no gray area in this matter. It's one or the other, not both.

So, tonight, I choose to live by faith once again. I choose to believe that God is sovereign and I trust in His perfect goodness. I believe that He has our best interests at heart, and I know that His provision is sufficient.

Thank you for your prayers for us!


14 comments:

Sandy said...

Oh Lindsey, I can't imagine you have to go through job uncertainty on top of everything else. We've been married 12.5 years and Mike has been "laid-off" 3 times. We just got back to work after almost 17 months. He works in the oil and gas industry as a consultant and you're right on - when it's good it's very good and when it's down it's way down. Boom or Bust! My heart goes out to you both. The Lord always provides I can testify to that. But oh the uncertainty of it all I just wish you didn't have to face this too. Love you Both Lots!

Paula said...

Brian and Lindsey,
Thank you for being so transparent.
For asking for prayer and not keeping it in. We honor the priviledge of praying for you.
I love your "santuary". It is so nice to have a place to retreat to and it is absolutely beautiful!!
I knew that the end was near with your radiation, I just didn't realize it was today. congratulations!!!
Do not be anxious or worried, God will take care of your tomorrows, as you both well know.
You both are constantly in our prayers and pass your requests on to others.
Stormin His Throne on your behalf.
The chaffin's

Pam Bourque said...

One of the most comforting, encouraging and uplifting things I have learned about God is that He knows my yesterdays, He knows right where I am today, and He already knows my tomorrows. And He promised if If would seek Him and His righteousness and His Kingdom that He would fully take care of me. That is His promise for you. You can fall back on Ps 37 and rest in Him to fully take care of you and Brian. He knows. He loves you. He cares.
Aunt Pam

Anonymous said...

I am giving praise that God brought you through radiation!
Phillipians 4:8

Leslie said...

I will be praying!!! God is faithful and he will provide for your needs...praying he will be glorified to the max in this!!!:)

one of nettie's girls said...

Congrats! on the last radiation treatment. It is wonderful to see how God has carried you through this time. Thank you for giving us the info about Brian and his job. I will be praying for God to provide in every way.

Anonymous said...

i'm praying for you. i, too, choose God.

LAKERFAN55 said...

Lindsey, This is pappadaddy, the husband to "one of nettie's girls." I just wanted you to know that I pray for "Texas Lindsey" every night and also that the Lord will give Brian strength. I will add the job situation to my prayers. So glad that you are finished with treatments. Love to both of you.

Norma said...

CONGRATULATIONS!! I was gonna be there when you rang the bell....but I forgot to put down when your last treatment was. rats!

My dad was in the oil and gas industry...so we understand the volatility...and will definintely be praying!

I like what "anonymous" said..."choose God". satan's (I don't even give him a capitalized first letter!)job is to "steal, kill and destroy"...so he tries to steal our joy, our peace. It all boils down to what we decide to fill our mind with. Sometimes, we have to remind ourself, often...throughout the day...."choose God. Choose peace. Choose joy."

Whatever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, if there be any virtue or praise - think on these things! (my version of Phil 4:8)
HUGZ!!

Suzanne Moore said...

I am going to begin with the title of your last entry "IT'S ALREADY DONE". It is the victory over this hurdle is D-O-N-E, DONE! As you were getting off that table in victory and this completing that IS A BIG DEAL, so we praise the Lord then we speak boldly "get thee behind me Satan you can NOT, will NOT prevail. I pray for God's favor and overcoming power over Brian's job as well as proclaim we will not be shaken, it may quake a little but we won't be moved. These are my prayers as I have said "we". I have sure had a few "quakes" of my own just this week after my victory finish with Herceptin (as you were already praying for). I am praying for restoration and continued stillness for your boday to heal. You sound alot like me ( about a ten year younger version;)) and I pray you will have some down time, to lay in the hammock, look at the flowers, read a good book, study the word, walk the dogs, much laughter with your husband. Press on , it's worth it, you are worth it!"BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS. DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED; FOR THE LORD YOUR GOD WILL BE WITH YOU WHEREVER YOU GO." JOSHUA 1:9 Blessings, Love you, lifting my voice in praise and petition on your behalf today. Suzanne

Erin said...

Yay, you're done!!! Will pray for peace and guidance during this time of uncertainty with Brian's job.

Tanya said...

Congratulations on being done with radiation! What a hurdle, indeed. Satan sure is good at creating fear and doubt in our hearts...I know he does a number on me and often.

Hold fast to that ongoing faith and hope you have. When I feel weak and hopeless, I try to look at things that are truly amazing gifts from God (like babies and sunsets and the world coming alive again with Spring) and those things help me to remember how powerful God really is!

mckenziegordon said...

Oh Lindsay! I'll be praying for you and your husband. I know the stress of being without income and it's hard on all aspects of your life when half of the couple isn't having to fight off cancer! You guys are an encouragement and through our adoption (NOT the same thing, I know, but it's the latest faith journey I've been walking) God has been reminding me that I either believe Him or I don't. It's simple. Faith isn't complicated. It's a choice and it's truth! Hope everything works out ok!

Alabamamom said...

I am beyond thrilled that you are done with radiation. I'll be praying for Brian's job.

Thanks for the reminder of trusting God's sufficiency. It made me think and start reflecting on the words of Martin Nystrom's song "Your Grace is Sufficient". Here are the words:
YOUR GRACE IS
SUFFICIENT

words & music by Martin J. Nystrom

Your grace is sufficient for me
Your strength is made perfect when I am weak
All that I cling to
I lay at your feet
Your grace is sufficient for me

I'm no longer striving
To merit Your love
I rest in your promise to me
All of my sins have been
Washed in Your blood
Your mercy is all that I need

You see me as righteous
Because of the blood
That made the atonement for me
Your mercy has triumphed where I should be judged
So now by your grace I am free

©1991 Integrity's Hosanna! Music / ASCAP