My mind is full as I sit down and write to you tonight. Today has been a roller coaster day. I woke up an hour late this morning, so I wasn't able to spend any time in the Word before my day began. I rushed through the morning, rushed off to school, and rushed through my day. But, God was near. He was present. And, my conversation with Him was ongoing today. I love days like that.
I left school this afternoon and headed to the cancer institute for my final radiation treatment. Can you believe that? I'm done. The thing that struck me as I was hopping off that table and walking to the changing room for the final time was, "This used to be so scary, but God brought me through it. And now it seems like nothing."
Have you ever noticed how things creep into our lives and seem like enormous feats? Then, when we look back on these things in a year or five years, they seem like no big deal, at all.
I have lots and lots of thoughts on this subject. But, today I realized that, if I believe in God's sovereignty and His goodness, then I truly have nothing to fear. He is good, regardless of how grim things might appear.
Today has been a particularly difficult day. For one, I haven't felt well, so that has sort of polluted my thoughts. But, for another, a lot of uncertainty and unknowns have emerged in Brian's job.
For those of you who don't know, Brian works in the oil and gas industry. This is the most volatile industry that you can imagine. When times are good, things are wonderful. But, when things get bad, they go downhill quickly.
At this point, we are not sure what the future holds for his job, but we know that the Lord holds the future. We are trusting him with his job. Can I ask you to pray for this situation for us? Would you please pray that the Lord would guide us as we make decisions about his employment.
As you can imagine, this has brought on a lot of worry in me. I'm sure that you realize that the loss of Brian's income would be detrimental to a young couple who has now paid for cancer for 19 straight months. And, I've had to step back and remind myself that fear and worry is not from the Lord, but from Satan. I have felt incredible oppression today as Satan has tried his best to take the glory off of God and His faithfulness through radiation, and put it on himself and his destruction in Brian's job.
This has forced me to recall that I'm either with God or with Satan, and there is no gray area in this matter. It's one or the other, not both.
So, tonight, I choose to live by faith once again. I choose to believe that God is sovereign and I trust in His perfect goodness. I believe that He has our best interests at heart, and I know that His provision is sufficient.
Thank you for your prayers for us!