Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Happy Wife, Happy Life

For whatever reason, I've been thinking about happy, healthy marriages a lot these days. It's probably because I know of several marriages that are crumbling around me, and still others that are only hanging on by a thread. By now, you realize that I am a deeply reflective person. I'm always looking for the "why" behind behaviors and actions.

In my own life, I always wish that someone would've told me that marriage would be the most challenging thing that I ever do. But, they didn't. And, I've just kind of had to figure that out by myself. I didn't realize when I walked down that aisle, that there would be an automatic war waged on my marriage. I had no idea that I was going to have to fight for the success of my marriage every single day, and I certainly was clueless about what unconditional love truly meant.

Beyond the shadow of a doubt, I know that the Lord ordained my marriage in His perfect timing. Brian and I had our first date on November 16, 2007 and we booked the church for our wedding on December 10, 2007. Talk about quick! And, this was not my customary way of doing things. I'm a planner by nature.

But then, when I was diagnosed with cancer less than 3 months after the wedding, I thought, "Aha! That's why the Lord had our relationship move so quickly. He knew that I needed my husband to get me through this." So, there has never been a question of whether or not Brian is the one for me. He is. I know that. He knows that.

But, even knowing that He is absolutely the one that the Lord prepared for me to marry is not always enough to make me happy. Can you imagine that?

Brian always talks about a comedian who used the phrase, "Happy wife, happy life." And now, Brian uses it with me on a regular basis.

Though the phrase is comical, and I'm sure it gets lots of laughs, it couldn't be farther from the truth. Because, here is the deal - there are undoubtedly going to be things in our lives that challenge our marriages. In a moment of challenge, we have two choices, we can either ignite or extinguish. We can ignite a small issue to create a much larger issue, resulting in conflict. Or, we can extinguish the issue, realizing that it's a fleeting matter, and avoid conflict.

My mind is just full of all of the things that are required to make a marriage thrive and survive in this world where it is acceptable to dismiss marriage like a bad habit. And, let me tell you, it's a lot of work! But, so worth it in the end when you have a marriage built on unconditional love and grace. What a picture of Christ's sacrifice for us.


Julie-CA said...

"Marriage is not only finding the right person, it is becoming the right person."
I never realized just how lame and selfish I was until I got married. What an eye opener to the ever-needed work by the Lord in my heart.
By the way, I think Jeff Allen's Happy Wife, Happy Life comedy is hilarious. =)

katie said...

Great post.

I was given this book called Sacred Marriage before I married my husband a little over a year and a half ago. The tagline is: What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy? I think that says it so well.

Alabamamom said...


Liz Harrell said...

So so so true. And I'm so glad God gave you your husband to support you through this trial. You're a remarkable couple.

Pam Bourque said...

This is just one more reason to thank God for His faithfulness to keep us, sustain us and teach and train us up, when we will give Him our hearts and minds. It has taken most of us many many years to understand and go for what you have now grasped. You go girl. God is way on your side! Every time we go past the fridge you and Brain smile at us reminding us to pray and stand for you. It is an honor to love and pray for you. The Lord bless you and keep you this day in the palm of His Hand and the center of His Will for your lives.
Aunt Pam

Norma said...

Jeff Allen is so funny! Todd always says "Happy Wife, Happy Life". hee hee What a blessing to have such a wonderful husband by my side!

I love what Julie-CA said - it is so important to BE the right person. But it's so much easier to help him become the right person than to change myself! lol

Since marriage is ordained of God, you know satan will do everything he can to destroy it. Great post! HUGZ

Suzanne Moore said...

Hey Lindsey, prayed for you this morning on my way back home from carpool! My children are in between the ages of those you teach and let me just say I don't know how you do it except for the GRACE OF GOD!!! You are a teacher they will not forget and are able to see God work miracles through you. I never miss a moment to tell a teacher thank you, so thank you. and know that I will continue to pray strength these next two months. I am expecting God to be so mighty through the chemo for you to be so drawn to his arms that your body is going through the process but your spirit is UPRISING!!! Resurrection!!!!!! Wanted to share to that if you want to check out a youtube i did on my caringbridge (total God thing, i would never have done it;) I think it is on Sept 10, that was the day I was going into surgery for my implants and promoting race for the cure. Just thought it may encourage ya today. I read 2 Corinthians 4 today....awesome! Hope the sun is shining brightly in your windows, for we know the SON is shining in the windows of our hearts! Your sister in Christ, Easter blessings, Suzanne Moore