My weekend was good, but not great. If I'm being honest with myself and you, I'd have to say that I've been a bit edgy this weekend. The little things have really been getting under my skin, and before I know it, I'm so frustrated at myself, Brian, the dogs, and the world in general, that I can't even see straight. I'm pretty sure that this is what they call moody! And, I feel as if so many little, insignificant things just keep adding fuel to my already blazing fire.
I could blame this lack of gentleness on a number of things. Hormone mayhem in my body, health circumstances, 6 dogs at our house this weekend, lack of restful sleep. You take your pick and I could use it as an excuse. And, believe me, I've used them all.
But, in this very moment, even as I am writing this, I'm realizing that those are little more than excuses. They are simply reasons that I could give why I don't have to live as God commanded me to live. This attitude doesn't do anything to show my love for God or my love for others. So, in the end, it's a big, fat sin.
I think that it is so important for us to sit down and evaluate our lives - our actions, but mostly our reactions. I do just fine as long as things are adhering to my plans. But, the second that something veers off the plan, I throw an all-out fit. Wow. I have a LOT of maturing to do.
And, this doesn't have to be big things. It can be the fact that I just almost started crying because I lost about 30 minutes of computer work. Somehow, it just vanished. I'm not sure how it happened. We never are. Or, it could be because the dog got sick on the rug. Or, because Brian just sat his dirty glass down on the countertop that I just finished cleaning. It's not in the big things, y'all. I do fine with the big things. I'm committed and content to glorify God in the big things. But, I'm really learning that I need to reevaluate my reactions. Am I showing love? joy? peace? patience? kindness? goodness? gentleness? and self-CONTROL? Ouch! This is a hard realization.
So, what am I going to do? A realization is no good without an action item. I'm going to pray for supernatural joy in the Lord, even in the midst of these petty little annoyances. I'm going to stop and think about glorifying God and loving others before I react.
Have a good week, ya'll. Let's live it in light of the Lord.