Monday, February 8, 2010

Radiation Begins


Good evening, my precious friends! I'm greeting you tonight from the end of a very long, dreary day. I don't know about you, but I've about had enough of this winter weather. I can't wait for the hot days of summer when I break a sweat walking to my car. I love the constant warmth!

Today was uneventful. It was a very typical day in the classroom. My little class has been so flexible in the past couple of months. They just seem to go with the flow, without too much concern for the lack of normalcy. This sort of thing is hard on kids, and I realize that. At times, it breaks my heart that I can't do anything to fix it. Isn't that what we all want to do? Fix it?

In so many ways, I'm glad that we can't. Sure, it would be nice to be able to pop a pill and know that the act would fix it, but we can't. I have grown to love the fact that we MUST rely on God in every single situation. I feel like I'm a very controlling person, but it's really only to the extent that the Lord allows it. God is sovereign. He has full reign over my life - and yours. It's a beautiful thing to know that this is absolutely not my burden to bear.

Anyway, that's where my head is tonight - praising God for His supreme authority.

Tomorrow, is a big day on the cancer circuit. At 9:30 tomorrow morning, I have an appointment to undergo radiation simulation. This is when they do some scans, mark me, and walk me through the process. Then, I'll start the real deal on Wednesday. I will have 30 rounds of radiation, which will endure every weekday for 6 weeks.

I'd be a liar if I said I was looking forward to this. But, I am looking forward to starting it. The sooner I start, the sooner I finish.

I don't know how to put this next part delicately, but I'll do my best. It's not a secret that I've had breast reconstruction with implants. Well, as you can imagine, reconstructed breasts and radiation don't mix all that well. This is a major concern for me. Well, that and lymphedema (painful swelling of my arm). Can I ask you to pray that God would protect my skin and reconstruction from the radiation? I must be genuine and say that while I try my best to take all of this like a champ, I am STILL a 26-year-old newlywed who would like to have a nice cosmetic result.

I am praying that Jehovah Rophi, my God who heals, would perfectly point the radiation beams to completely destroy any cancer cells that are still lurking in my body. I am praying that He protects all healthy cells from radiation damage, so that they are able to keep functioning as normal, so that I might be free of all adverse side effects. I am praying that He would use my time as I wait on radiation and receive radiation for His glory, that my mind might be set on things above, not on earthly things. Can you pray these things with me? Please.

And, just one more thing before I close tonight. I don't know if you guys are aware, but tomorrow I will have been on my chemo pills and estrogen blocker for one week. I was warned of some major nasty side effects of these drugs, and thus far, I feel wonderful. That's because of the Lord, folks. Only because of Him.

17 comments:

Amy said...

Lindsey, I too like to be "in control." However, situations like these are out of our control and have taught me that I CANNOT be in control!! The more I read your blog, the more alike I realize we are. It's nice to be updated-to know how to pray specifically!! You are such a living testimony of trusting in the Lord. Love, Amy

Leslie said...

I will be praying these specific things sweet friend!!!!! Thank you for all of your encouraging comments...you are a blessing & inspiration! Wonderful Merciful Savior is one of my favorite songs of all time!:) It is on shuffle so God must have wanted you to hear it at that particular time...it is actually playing as I type this "here in our weakness you find us falling before your throne"...HE IS GOOD...love you!!!

Rachel said...

Your unwavering faith and trust in God never ceases to amaze me. Looking forward to what He does through you!

podso said...

You are giving Him the glory, and He gives you just enough grace for each day...praying for you these coming days.

brianolsenpc said...

Still praying for you, Lindsey! God has His loving arms around you. He will protect you.

Anonymous said...

i am praying for you

one of nettie's girls said...

It is so comforting to know that we can pray for Him to direct those radiation rays to the exact spot they need to go. We do not have an "accidental" God. He does things for a purpose, His purpose, and it's never a surprise to Him. Praying for you.

April said...

Praying for you Lindsey!! Hope the radiation goes smoothly - If God's protected you from the nasty side effects of the chemo pills/estrogen blocker thus far, maybe he'll save your reconstruction and your arm as well :)

Hope you continue to feel good! (Along with God, Who is really doing all of it - I'm sure your new diet is helping a lot too!)

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your days with us. I appreciate knowing exactly what you need prayer on. I'm sure that can change day in and day out.
You are an amazing woman, handling this the way you are. A woman of God. Amazing.
Praying for you,
Tressa

Anonymous said...

I was driving to work this morning and Mercy Me came on singing, "Jesus bring the rain" and I immediately thought of you. I know you know the song but I'm going to post the words anyway for people reading that don't know it.

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

I love you LIndsey Pond and you are doing our Father proud, let me tell you! From one control freak to another, I love how you show us all how to lay it down before the Lord and accept his love and grace during the rain! I'll be praying specifically for your outlined needs! Love, Lori

Lindsey said...

I think that is the hardest part of being Christian is you have to let go of the control! Ugh it's so hard!

Paula said...

Brian and Lindsey,
Blessing for a new day. I was so excited to hear that you are not having any nasty side effects from the drugs so far. Hopefully they will not rear their ugly heads. We will certainlly continue to pray for that.
Don't ever feel afraid to tell us too much or your true feelings. You are only human and a sweet young newlywed. We will pray for the radiation in that respect.
I read this verse this morning and it made me think of you. Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
This verse so reminds me of you. Courageous, strong and faithful that your Lord is with you wherever you go.
You make us all proud to call you friend. We are Stormin His Throne that the army inside you will attack only the bad cells and not the good.
Blessing for you!
The Chaffin's

Sandy said...

Yes. We're we're in agreement with you to the Lord for all those specific things and more. Yes, you are a champ! I love you.

Anonymous said...

I pray that the whole radiation experience does exactly what you said....zap the cancer and protect the good cells.

We are very sick of winter here in Iowa also.

Rely on your faith, family and friends when you need to....we know you are a strong woman but don't forget to let those who love you take care of you also.

Continued prayers for you and your family from the Midwest....the whole six weeks of radiation will go by very fast. Be strong.

God Bless....

Michele said...

Lindsey...I will continue to pray. You are so encouraging and strong...I will pray you will always be this way.

Big hugz,
Michele

Julie-CA said...

I do not blog, but have had a small list of blogs I have been following. However, as of today, I have decided to narrow my list down to 2 blogs I will continue to follow and you are one of those 2 simply because of the condition in which my spirit is left after I read your words. They are edifying for both the author and the reader. When I read your blog, I am welcomed with words that are heaven-focused and not wordly-focused and welcomed with words that are God-focused and not self-focused. I am refreshed. I am inspired. I am encouraged. You have balanced so well the art of sharing with people about "you" yet not making your blog all about YOU. You are always so quick to boast upon the Lord's faithfulness and to keep HIM as the focus. I have been saddened as I've come to discover that is just not the norm in this whole blog-realm. I am so so thankful I came across your blog and I want to thank you for providing a wonderful place day after day where I can come and where I know I will always be welcomed with words that edify my spirit and encourage my walk. I am praying your radiation today dear friend.

Whitney said...

Love you love you! Praying for these specific things.