Wednesday, February 10, 2010

A Glitch

As soon as I got home from school today, I rushed inside and immediately took the dogs back outside, as is my daily custom. I despise this part of dog ownership. In fact, I regularly tell Brian that I just do NOT like letting the dogs out or putting them up. For us, this means letting them out of their crates and returning them to their crates. They are always far happier to see me, than I am to see them. 350 pounds of dog is a LOT of greeting. And, I often wonder how they would act if I greeted them with the same gusto with which they greet me, but I digress.

That was just what was on the top of my mind at the moment, since I'm waiting for them to devour their food so that I can take them out, again. It's the curse of getting home first.

It's been one of those days. In fact, if you were present with me, you'd know that by the empty jar of almond butter with a butter knife sticking out of the top. You know, most people inhale massive amounts of chocolate or ice cream when they've had a rough day, but me, well I must stick to the plan and eat my weight (or the tablespoon that's left) of almond butter.

This morning I just didn't feel so good. Not bad. Just not good. Femara is one of my new drugs, and it seems that it can cause a bit of joint pain when a person begins taking it. That, plus some nausea just gave me a case of the icks. Not mental icks, just physical icks.

I was feeling some better when I got to school and got my day going. It's amazing how a room full of seven year olds can turn the day around. Luckily, today they put a positive spin on it.

About 10:30 my classroom phone rang and it was my wonderfully wise and personable radiation oncologist. She's the kind of doctor who makes you feel important. That's the kind I like.

She told me that she has been working with a physicist to create the radiation fields that they will be using for my treatments. She started the conversation with, "This never happens...." As you know, for me, it doesn't matter if it "never happens". It somehow manages to happen.

Basically, they are having problems because of my implants. I'm not trying to be crass or overly personal, but because of the size and closeness of my implants, the radiation field that hits my chest wall isn't hitting correctly.

So, we are looking at 2 possibilities, neither one is ideal.

1.) Replace the implants with smaller ones so that the my chest wall can be reached. This would mean more surgery/recovery before starting.

2.) Leave my chest wall out of the radiation field, and just radiate my armpit and clavicle area. This means that there would be greater chance of recurrence on my chest wall. Chest wall recurrences are not life threatening, but hey, a recurrence is a recurrence.

When we hung up, the doctor was going to call my plastic surgeon and see if switching out my implants is even a possibility. I don't know if it is, or not. So, she is supposed to let me know something once they've figured out a solution. She did tell me not to come on Monday, unless I hear back from her. She said this is going to take some time to decipher because she's never seen it before.

So, there you have it.

Even in this, I bless His name. I give Him honor. I give Him praise. I know that He has ordained every step of this. I know that He is in control. And, our faith will not be shaken. If it means more surgery, so be it. I'm tough. I can handle another surgery. If it means, that we can't radiate my chest wall, then that is not news to the Lord, and it changes nothing about my life, health, or future. Those things are secure in His hands.

Please pray with us through this.

Love you all. Each one.


Erin said...

Geez, this must be frustrating. It does sound like you have a good team working for you, and I have confidence they'll figure out the best path from here. Praying for you, girl.

Anonymous said...

..."then that is not news to the Lord, and it changes nothing about my life, health, or future."

I love that sentence. We get so caught up in thinking that if this or that doesn't happen, our lives will spire out of control. But whether it's bad or good news to us, it's not news to God, like to said! He's got a plan for us no matter what!

Praying for you!

Makenzie Leigh said...

praying for you, you can get through this..

Anonymous said...

Every bad, every good, every praise, every request. You are tough, you will beat this! Praying more and more for you

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

All timing is Divine - what we may think of as a set-back, or problem, is always in perfect accord with The Higher Ups.

Remember to breathe!

In prayer,


Kristina said...

Oh my word. Praying over it.

podso said...

There are no glitches with God! Such a comfort to know.

Ruth - Grandma said...


Alabamamom said...

Amen,Amen,Amen to God being in control of all aspects of the situation.


Amy said...

Ditto on Grandma Ruth's comments. Our entire Sunday School class is praying for you!! Wow-I don't know what to say-the verse that is coming to mind is "Be still and know that I AM GOD."
Thanks for sharing your heart, soul, the nitty gritty helps us all know what is going on---that you ARE human, and relying fully on God's strength!! Love, Amy

one of nettie's girls said...

Isn't it good to rest in His arms? I read this today and want to share it with you:

"When it seems to me that bad things are happening to me I will not turn from God nor ask God why, but seek to know the good that God is trying to teach me through the hard and testing times that I am going through."

Praying for you.

Becky said...

I just had a thought about the femara that I thought I would share with you. My doctor recommended that I take it at night since it can cause nausea and so that is what I have been doing. I don't know when you are taking it, but you could maybe try that. I hope that the joint pain will resolve for you, he also told me that it can sometimes go away. Praying for you. You may have plenty of support from fellow young survivors, and I know that I can't completely understand all that you are facing, but I was diagnosed at 29 and am 3 years out at this point and am praying for you. my email is mbderby AT yahoo DOT com, if you would like anymore information.

Tanya said...

One step forward, two steps back! At least it sure seems that way sometimes. I know how it is to sometimes have a hard time enjoying good news, because you are always wondering what bad news will follow.

However, remember that this is just a glitch that you will get past. We'll all be praying and have hope for you as well! Huge hugs to you as you continue down the road in this journey.

Unknown said...

Continuing to pray for you on a daily basis. May the peace of Jesus Christ be on you and your husband.