Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Slightly less than Christlike

You know, just a couple of days ago, I did a post on authenticity. So, I'm going to risk my reputation tonight, but authenticity is important.

I'm posting from my lovely hospital bed with the blaring of a TV in the background and a maze of cords and tubes wrapped around certain parts of my body. And, this room, well, it's not the Ritz, and I dare say I could've stayed at the Ritz for a month at these prices.

Surgery went wonderfully. There were no complications or surprises. Well, there weren't any complications or surprises until they wheeled me from recovery to an itty bitty, outdated semi-private room. Ya'll I totally lost my cool. I was not kind. I was not peaceful. I was not understanding, nor joyful. I was downright rude! And, now I feel so bad about that. In fact, I feel so bad that I've had to go back and apologize to a few people who I'm sure that I offended this morning. Anesthesia and pain medications make me a little edgy and irritable. Okay, okay, they make me a different person, altogether.

I demanded (in a way that was not very God-honoring) that they either get me a private room or send me home. Finally, my surgeon came in and said, "You aren't going home. But, we will get you some privacy." This appeased me.

Then, I felt terrible because my roommate in the old room was the cutest, sweetest little old lady, and I was just not having that semi-private room. I mean, as soon as I first saw her, I burst into tears and then started ranting and raving from then on out. It's hard enough to rest in a hospital without having to share a room with someone else.

So, this is my confession to you today. I am not always kind. And, I wasn't today. I wish that I would've been, but I wasn't.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hang in there sweet girl....sometimes it has to come out. The Father knows exactly how you are feeling and where you are at emotionally. He understands! Dr. Haller still loves and prays for you!

Meagan said...

Don't worry lady..you areunder a lot of stress. Sometimes the world gets the best of us.
I'm praying for your recovery!!

Anonymous said...

That's just the meds talking! Ha!

katie beth said...

You have been through a lot, so don't be too hard on yourself.

Praise God for a smooth surgery and no complications!

SweDaisy said...

You've been through a lot lately. It's understandable that you might loose your cool. The important thing is that you recognize your actions were less than Godly and you feel sorry for the way you acted. Sometimes you just want peace and quiet all on your own, I can relate to that.

Take care,
Lisa

P.S. Glad to hear the surgery went well.

Kristina said...

I just hate it when I act like a brat! I hope today is better and filled with joy.

one of nettie's girls said...

So glad to hear that surgery went well. Praying now that you have a swift recovery. Don't feel too badly about your demands. It happens.

Jana said...

It happens, you know. I'm sure everyone understood and appreciated your apologies. Leave it behind you and focus on a swift and smooth recovery.

And no painting for a while, K? :)

erinkern said...

Ugh, well, at least you got a chance to go back and apologize. I say don't stres to badly--you've had a lot on your plate these days, and you are allowed to have a 'moment' every once and awhile!

Sandy said...

The sweet old lady probably can't remember, the doctors and nurses no doubt are used to a lot worse, You're (we're) not Christ even though we want to be Christ-like and I'm so happy you got it out because now you can proceed with healing! Love You Sweet.

Katie said...

I think that going back and apologizing is the most Christ-like thing you could have done! Making mistakes isn't the issue--we know we're going to do that. And there's nothing like physical, emotional, and mental stress to make us screw up. But, it's what we do about it afterwards that shows our true character.

And blog friend, you have amazing character. Hang in there!

Whitney said...

Well, I think you deserve to rant and rave just a little. I mean, you've been through TWO ROUNDS of cancer. Trust me, I'd be complaining, too. And I know the old lady understood.

Paula said...

Lindsey,
God does not expect us to be perfect all of the time, that is why He sent His Son for us. When in situations like that, all you can do is what you did. Ask for their forgiveness and show that you are a human christian. I'm proud of you for the way you ended it. We are constantly praying for you, Brian, your doctors and your family. The Chaffin's