Opinions.

Opinions are good. They are what separate us from each other and give each of us our unique mindsets and convictions. I have lots and lots of opinions, and I rarely keep them as my own.

Opinions are probably the most frustrating thing in the world to a cancer patient. Because there is no exact science to cancer, and there is no known cure for cancer, opinions are rampant. Doctors' opinions. Nurses' opinions. Nutritionists' opinions. Survivors' opinions. And then there are the other ones, the ones that have no formal training on the subject nor any personal experience with it. These are the ones that I can barely tolerate.

All along, even when we were processing my first diagnosis of cancer, opinions and advice came from everywhere, from friends, family, doctors, and even perfect strangers. As a well-informed patient and co-cancer patient, Brian and I took all opinions into consideration, carefully checking the research behind each one's claim, and then made the medical decisions that we made. I don't regret those decisions. I don't regret a single one of them.

But now, we are in an entirely different game. The variables have shifted, and the pieces of the puzzle are not, at all, what they were a year ago.

As one of my doctors put it to me, "Medicine is the most humbling of fields, because ultimately God is in control." I couldn't agree more.

When an experience like ours happens, it forces the patient (and the co-patient) to lose confidence, somewhat, in the opinions of others. It causes them to search deeper, finding truths for themselves, and relying on their own research to guide decisions.

This is what we are doing. So, I need some very thoughtful and specific prayer from all of you. You have been so wonderful to provide this before, so I know you won't let me down now.

Here are the facts (what my head is digesting):

-In September 2008, I was diagnosed and treated for Stage 1, grade 3 invasive ductal carcinoma. This was a 1.4cm tumor that was localized to my left breast. No lymph node involvement detected.

-Treatment: bilateral mastectomy, removal of sentinel node and 5 additional lymph nodes, 6 rounds of Carboplatin and Taxotere, 1 year of Herceptin

-Results: Rediagnosis December 2009 - I was diagnosed with 13 0f 16 positive nodes, largest node measuring 2.6cm, 2 nodes were not encapsulated

-Treatment: axillary dissection and oophorectomy

-Further treatment planned: radiation and chemotherapy

I know that God is in control of this one. If I didn't, I'd probably be under a rock crying right now, instead of enjoying my day in the sunshiney living room. I know that God often heals through doctors.

But what I don't know is if this projected plan is the very best plan for me and for my life. I need you to pray that the Lord would, beyond the shadow of a doubt, lead us to HIS very best plan, and that we would know clearly that this treatment was from Him. I need you to pray God's protection against any wrong or harmful decisions, that only correct decisions would be made. Pray that Brian and I would be at perfect peace about the treatment. And, I need you to pray that God would be glorified through this process.

Ya'll, God can heal me from this cancer in this instant. I fully believe that, and I am constantly praising Him for my healing. He is a miracle worker.

Thank you for your very specific prayers. With God, we are going to beat this!