Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Opinions.

Opinions are good. They are what separate us from each other and give each of us our unique mindsets and convictions. I have lots and lots of opinions, and I rarely keep them as my own.

Opinions are probably the most frustrating thing in the world to a cancer patient. Because there is no exact science to cancer, and there is no known cure for cancer, opinions are rampant. Doctors' opinions. Nurses' opinions. Nutritionists' opinions. Survivors' opinions. And then there are the other ones, the ones that have no formal training on the subject nor any personal experience with it. These are the ones that I can barely tolerate.

All along, even when we were processing my first diagnosis of cancer, opinions and advice came from everywhere, from friends, family, doctors, and even perfect strangers. As a well-informed patient and co-cancer patient, Brian and I took all opinions into consideration, carefully checking the research behind each one's claim, and then made the medical decisions that we made. I don't regret those decisions. I don't regret a single one of them.

But now, we are in an entirely different game. The variables have shifted, and the pieces of the puzzle are not, at all, what they were a year ago.

As one of my doctors put it to me, "Medicine is the most humbling of fields, because ultimately God is in control." I couldn't agree more.

When an experience like ours happens, it forces the patient (and the co-patient) to lose confidence, somewhat, in the opinions of others. It causes them to search deeper, finding truths for themselves, and relying on their own research to guide decisions.

This is what we are doing. So, I need some very thoughtful and specific prayer from all of you. You have been so wonderful to provide this before, so I know you won't let me down now.

Here are the facts (what my head is digesting):
-In September 2008, I was diagnosed and treated for Stage 1, grade 3 invasive ductal carcinoma. This was a 1.4cm tumor that was localized to my left breast. No lymph node involvement detected.

-Treatment: bilateral mastectomy, removal of sentinel node and 5 additional lymph nodes, 6 rounds of Carboplatin and Taxotere, 1 year of Herceptin

-Results: Rediagnosis December 2009 - I was diagnosed with 13 0f 16 positive nodes, largest node measuring 2.6cm, 2 nodes were not encapsulated

-Treatment: axillary dissection and oophorectomy

-Further treatment planned: radiation and chemotherapy

I know that God is in control of this one. If I didn't, I'd probably be under a rock crying right now, instead of enjoying my day in the sunshiney living room. I know that God often heals through doctors.

But what I don't know is if this projected plan is the very best plan for me and for my life. I need you to pray that the Lord would, beyond the shadow of a doubt, lead us to HIS very best plan, and that we would know clearly that this treatment was from Him. I need you to pray God's protection against any wrong or harmful decisions, that only correct decisions would be made. Pray that Brian and I would be at perfect peace about the treatment. And, I need you to pray that God would be glorified through this process.

Ya'll, God can heal me from this cancer in this instant. I fully believe that, and I am constantly praising Him for my healing. He is a miracle worker.

Thank you for your very specific prayers. With God, we are going to beat this!

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

Praying for you.

Kristina said...

I thought of you when I read Psalm 138:8. I know this will happen for you.

Alabamamom said...

I'm praying for you.

Love,
Carol

Marla said...

I will be praying for you.

http://asthefarmturns.wordpress.com/

Leslie said...

Wow. Those are some big crazy words. It must be intimidating to sift through all of them and then actually make decisions. Praying for clarity and confidence!

Anonymous said...

Prayers and thoughts for your family continue to flow from the Midwest. Glad to hear your surgery was free of complications.

God Bless.....

Tanya said...

I know all too well about making tough, tough decisions. From my experience, when there is a relapse the doctors seemed more open minded with patient's personal choices and what they want to try. Research, prayer and hope are all important!

Continued prayer coming from here as well!

Erin said...

What a load for you two to digest. Praying for clarity. Praying for healing.

Nick said...

This is Julie under Nick's name!!! I cannot figure out how to sign out!!!... My opinion is... :)... Gosh, you rock and I hate to tell you what everyone else does, but I am truly praying for you. One thing that I really am loving is all this research you are doing about foods and treatment, etc... You aren't laying back just listening to the rest of the world. What I have learned as I have "grown up" is doctors are amazing, but at the end of the day they are just like us... they are people and they don't know all of the answers... so you are exactly right... God is the one who knows all the answers and He is probably up there laughing at some of our opinions :)!

Debbie said...

Always in prayer for you...God's healing hand, wisdom for you and Brian, and the careful words of those around you.
Love you!

Stacy said...

Still praying . . .

k_stin said...

I'm glad that you got to enjoy the sunshiney day today. I hope that it was peaceful for you.

I'll will pray for wise decisions from the Lord and also that you will be able to have peace about the decisions and the future (it is so scary sometimes!). I still pray for you about work, especially when I'm on MY way to work.

Rhonda said...

Praying for your healing and thanking God in advance for His provision...Mark 11:24

Paula said...

Brian and Lindsey, we are praying specifically and constantly. May you both draw wisdom from Him alone.
The Chaffin's

Jana said...

Opinions are like...oh, nevermind, this is a family-friendly site. :)


Praying for you, love.

Anonymous said...

Praying those specific prayers!

Ruth - Grandma said...

I pray God will give you wisdom in all of your dicisions and peace that passes all understanding.

Cari said...

What a blessing that you have a doctor who acknowledges God is in control! Wow! Praying for wisdom and healing.

I'm Just Beachy said...

Saying a prayer for you today.
Keep your FAITH.
HOPE for a cure.
LOVE everyday.

Michele said...

I'm praying for you Lindsey...God will heal you...

Hugz,
Michele

SB said...

Definitely praying for you & Brian. I know God has His hand on your life & I know He is able to do exceedingly more than we can imagine (Ephesians 3:20-21). Thank you for being so faithful to post specifics to pray about and update on how you are doing.

Anonymous said...

your witness and positive attitude certainly glorifys God. Don't know you personally but stumbled upon your blog. So know that friends, loved ones AND strangers are lifting you up in prayer. And know also that as you are receiving the prayers of others you are unknowingly blessing and encouraging others by the Christian example you show on your blog...press on

Anonymous said...

Sweet girl, do you remember Vice President Debbie Blue at OBU? Her husband was diagnosed with stage four cancer,not sure what kind. They took him to a doctor in Korea (I think...) where he spent a couple of months and had wonderful results. You might want to contact her and get her "opinion"...yes I said it:)) Love you,
Dr. Haller
ml.haller@yahoo.com

Lisa said...

In my opinion, you are so very brave, hopeful and most of all - faithful. Your positive attitude despite everything you are going through is so admirable. Makes me take a step back and really appreciate the little things in life that we all take for granted. Still praying for you!!

Anonymous said...

Hi There, If you don't mind my asking, were there any signs or symptoms you had that were related back when you were first diagnosed? God Bless You