Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Help.... I beg you!

This morning started off with a bright and early, 7 o' clock appointment with the radiation oncologist. Brian and I did our best to drag ourselves out of bed at an insanely early hour, in order to get there on time.

We walked in, filled in some paperwork, and waited our turn to see the doctor. After a few short minutes of waiting, the doctor came in and began his spiel.

I'm going to be very honest when I tell you that I have had some major reservations about radiation. It is not a benign treatment, meaning it comes with many long-term side effects, especially for someone with reconstructed breasts (sorry for the bluntness).

It was all that I could do to get through the appointment. Thank goodness for Brian. I could feel my eyes starting to sting with tears a few times, as the doctor went through the possible side effects, but having Brian with me made it much more doable. To some doctors, I am just another day at the office, but to me, well, this is my life.

As soon as he left the room, the former stings in my eyes became full blown tears, and I felt so angry at the whole situation. See, I am not joyful always.

All along, I have been praying for the Lord to make His perfect treatment for me abundantly clear to both me and Brian and my doctors. Y'all, right now it's not clear. I need the Holy Spirit's guidance on us like it has never been before. We want to feel peaceful about treatment, and we know that only comes from God.

So, can you please pray that God would hover over us, that He would make His way evident. Pray that He would hold us and keep us in perfect peace because our eyes are so focused on Him and His glory and work. Pray that our faith would not be shaken, but that we would rest in the knowledge that He is guiding us. May He be glorified!

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

I will continue to pray for whatever requests of clearness and strength and for all the concerns that you and Brian have.

The things you are dealing with I am sure are very unsettling at times and it is is normal to let your emotions flow.

It sounds like God found you a strong husband for many reasons but especially to help carry you through these health issues. You are not alone, rely on your faith, family and friends.

Prayers from Iowa.

God Bless.....

Anonymous said...

praying for you

Alabamamom said...

Praying earnestly.

Anonymous said...

I'm still praying, along with many many many others.
Along with a long distance hug from Plains, KS :-)
You are an amazing woman. You are going through something so horrible, but yet I read your blog and I feel blessed
Tressa

one of nettie's girls said...

Praying for God's leading to be evident in an undeniable way......and SOON.

Anonymous said...

I am praying for you all to have a perfect peace about your whole situation. May God bless you both and keep you in his loving hands.

Romi said...

praying...

Audra said...

Check out your Facebook page! You should update on there with prayer requests like this one for people who aren't able to read the blog.
You have SO MANY people praying for you!

Anonymous said...

Our God is sovereign over all and especially over your decisions. I am praying for you tonight, interceding on your behalf for clear direction and a hedge of protection. My verse for today was "It doth not yet appear what we will be." 1 John 3:2 You are not alone in this fight!!! Prayers from Birmingham, AL, Blessings, Suzanne Moore

Anonymous said...

I stumbled across your blog accidentally and have been following your story, shedding tears for you and praying for you. I have not been much for praying the past few years, but ever since reading of your problems, I have started praying again. I have been humbled by your genuine passion and love of God. I think of you daily and pray for healing and guidance for you. I am in no way diminishing the road you have ahead of you, but having had a hysterectomy myself several years ago, don't discount the powerful hormonal upheaval your body is going through now. It can make you teary and unfocused and very, very emotional. I pray for healing for you and that God will answer all our prayers for you. Thank you for bringing me back to God.

Sherrie said...

Sending many prayers your way.

Becky said...

I am praying right now for your wisdom in knowing the best decisions to be made, for your doctors to be in agreement as to what is the best course of treatment for you, and I am praying for God to continue to sustain you and Brian and that His peace will rest on you and reign in your hearts. Many many prayers...

Stacy said...

Your trust in God and your honest desire to simply follow Him is astounding. I look at my own life, with my petty problems, and I realize that I have so much to learn from your journey. Please know that you have--and will continue to have--my prayers.

Lisa said...

I'd like to "ditto" an earlier comment.. I stumbled across your blog and just by reading your story, your daily struggles, and your constant faith I have found myself praying more often. For you and for my family and friends. Thank you for sharing your life and your love for God.

Anonymous said...

I have to say I have had the same experience as several others, Lindsey. I had all but quit praying when I began praying for you. I now find myself lifting you up at all hours of the day. May He be glorified. Praying for you as you make decisions.

Anonymous said...

Praying for you in Tulsa.

Tanya said...

Praying that His guidance is clear to you.

Paula said...

Brian and Lindsey,
Please don't let fear creep in and cloud your decisions. We are praying for it to be abundantly clear what course God wants you to take. Please stay strong as you wait on your answer! The Chaffin's

Meg said...

Lifting you before our Heavenly Father. Stay strong!