So, today I feel the need to be authentic. This is not to say that I think it's good to be an over-sharer. To me, that is just as tacky as being fake. I'm hard to please, aren't I?
Well, it would be inauthentic of me to simply plod along on this blog, through this trial, and not let my faithful readers in on the real me. You know, what's going on in my heart.
The last 24 hours or so have been difficult. I have wrestled back and forth with an important medical decision. I have researched until I'm blue in the face and my eyes are ready to pop out of my head.
Here's the issue, and please pardon me if you deem this as over-sharing:
In the last week or so, it has become obvious that my body is back to producing the hormones that were clearly shut down by chemotherapy a little over a year ago. To most of you, this probably sounds like a good thing, right? Most minds would be thinking, "Oh yay! Her body is returning to normalcy after chemo." And, for many reasons, this is a good thing. And, it does mean that my body seems to be right back on track. Praise God!
But, there is one minor glitch. The cancer that seems to grow well in my body is estrogen/progesterone positive. In a nutshell, this means that it is fed and nourished by these hormones.
For several days, Brian and I have been pretty final on the decision for me to have an oophorectomy (ovaries removed). Of course, this obviously means that my infertility would be permanent. So, you know the implications of that.
For months now, we've been prepared to trust the Lord with a family.
Then, yesterday I began reading up on some reputable breast cancer research studies about oophorectomies and their side effects for young women. They aren't good, people.
There are some other drugs that are possible treatments, but none of them come without side effects. This topic is enormously controversial in the medical community, and thus there is no cut and dry solution.
So, this has been my burden for the past several days.
I would appreciate your specific prayer for a decision that will bring God glory and peace for Brian and I. Pray that the Lord will bring about total and complete health for my body, and that he would guide us to the decision that will provide for this.