Thursday, December 17, 2009

Same Song. Second Verse.

Well, folks, it's been a rough 24 hours. I went for a routine checkup with my oncologist yesterday. As she was examining me, she found a lump in my left armpit. Immediately, she was concerned and began making arrangements for a biopsy.

This morning, Brian and I went for the biopsy, and our worst fears were confirmed - I have cancer - AGAIN.

We're in shock, to say the least. I do NOT want to do this again.

But, in the midst of all of this, I praise my God. I already know Him as my Healer and my Portion. I already know him as a God who can move mountains. So, with him on my side I will not fear. Of course, I'm having to make that a choice. It's not a natural reaction.

So, I'll keep you posted.

What I know: this means more surgery, more chemo, and radiation

What I don't know: the stage, the surgery date, the next step

I need your prayers. Pray for a localized tumor. Pray for ease through chemo. Pray for Brian. Pray for us as we make treatment decisions.

49 comments:

Kelley said...

praying praying praying!

Anonymous said...

I cried as I read this. I don't personally know you, but that doesn't matter, your a woman of God and you came through this once and that is how you will come through this again. I can't understand the "why", just like I'm sure you can't. I'm in tears for you and Brian. I'm on my knees praying for you and Brian.
May our Lord give you both strengh.
Tressa

Stacy said...

I stumbled across your blog through someone else's blog--and I have continued to read your blog because of its honesty and encouragement. Please know that you will have our prayers in Houston. May God bless you and Brian and give you strength, wisdom, and a positive outlook over the coming days.

katie beth said...

I'm praying for you. You are a dear sweet precious testimony of our Lord.

cessc said...

Your are in my prayers. You got through this and you will again.

cess

Brandi said...

I have been reading your blog for awhile. I came across it the first time you went through all of this. This is so sad to hear and I will be praying for you and your family.

Anonymous said...

I am praying for you.

Allison said...

I don't know you, but I'm sending up prayers from Missouri. Your faith in our Lord through all of this is such an amazing testimony for me to read. You'll be in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

I found your blog last year via Whitney (Glam life of a Housewife).
I prayed for you then & I will pray for you now. You are a strong woman of God & you know He won't give you more than He knows you & Brian can handle. May HIS peace be with you now & as yall make decisions about treatment. I pray you will find Him as your HOPE & JOY this Christmas eventhough you are asking "Why me...why again?" Please know you will continue to inspire many as you fight the good fight this second time, just as you did the first. He goes before you ALWAYS.
Tennessee is praying for you!

Whitney said...

I love you.

one of nettie's girls said...

My heart just breaks for you. Please know that we are praying and will keep doing so.

Leslie said...

This just knocked the wind out of me, friend. That just sucks...no other way to put it. Thanks for allowing us to share the burden with you through prayer.

Cari said...

Oh, Lindsey, please know I, too, will be praying.

Di said...

My dear sweet Lindsey I am so so so sorry to hear about this. I think my heart cried as I read this. I know God is using this, and using you to further His kingdom and all I can say is Praise Jesus you are the wonderful, strong woman that I know you to be. I love you and I am for sure praying for you!!!

Diane

Anonymous said...

Praying for you, your heart, and your husband.

mckenziegordon said...

Lindsay I'm so sorry to hear this. You are being completely covered in prayer! Love to you and Brian.

erinkern said...

Lindsey, we will be praying.

Mrs. Cup said...

My heart aches for you. I have no doubt that you will be found faithful, even in this. Remember, the same power that conquered the grave lives in YOU! Praying for you, friend.

Katie said...

We haven't met but my eyes are welled up with tears. Prayers for you and your family.

KB said...

Sending best wishes your way from CA. Found your blog a while ago and have been following due to your great story telling and honesty.
KB

Amy said...

I too cried when I heard this news. Why? You are such a strong woman of faith and I admire you so much for this. Know that you are being prayed for around the country, if not around the world. He already moved one mountain and can move a second!! May God give you the strength and peace you need each moment of each new day.

Jill said...

Praying for you, my sweet friend.

Kelli Davis said...

Are there any words for days like this? I am praying SO HARD for you guys right now. I know that no matter what, the Lord's with you right now, and His plan is in action. Praying for Brian, too, as he stands by your side today, and every day.

Anonymous said...

I will pray for you! You have brightened my day on so many occasions as I read your blog over my Lean Cuisine at my desk. I don't know you but I feel as though I do! You are an inspiration and an encouragement to so many, and I am crying that you are living this day all over again. Please know we are all here - your extended online friends and family - praying for you and encouraging you from afar!

Love,
Christy in Alabama

Sandy said...

Dale called Grandma, Grandma called me, I'm in shock too. And speechless. I want to take it all away from you. Your faith is amazing. Please let me do something. We're praying. I love you.

k_stin said...

I don't know you and haven't commented often, but I have been following your story since last year in the midst of the treatment. My prayers and thoughts will be with you. I know it must be disappointing news, but you're right God IS with you.

Kinsey said...

Lindsey, I've been reading your blog for awhile now - very refreshing and very strong. I will be praying for you and your family. I am so sorry you have to go through this again.

podso said...

This is such disturbing news, but allowed by a loving God who does not make mistakes. Will be praying for a great peace, grace and strength for this new journey, and healing.

Scott & Katie Dietrich said...

I don't personally know you, but this post brought tears to me eyes...I will keep you and your family in my prayers...And prayers for the tumor to be localized, and that chemo goes well...You will make it though this and you will be a stronger person!!!

Jana said...

I love you, and am praying for you constantly.

Vicki Clifton said...

As I read your blog and read the comments left, one thought comes to mind. You are touching people's lives through your own suffering.

I found your blog before the first time and have followed it regularly since. It has been an encouragement to me. Enough that when I start to describe 'you' and your situation to my husband, he readily recognizes it. You are leaving your footprints in others lives and hearts.

My heart cries for you and your husband. I will be praying. God is faithful.

I struggle with my own illness and sometimes don't do well at all with it, trusting God etc. One thing that stood out to me the other day when I heard "O Holy Night", was this part of the second verse: "He knows our need to our weakness is no stranger." Maybe it it will help you through this tough Christmas time.
Vicki

Kristina said...

Praying for you, for Brian and for healing. You're an amazing woman of God, sweet friend.

Leslie said...

Oh, Lindsey...I will be praying for you and Brian as you walk through this again. Thank you for your example to trust. I will pray that God will be glorified through this situation yet again and that you will be blessed in the midst. Praying...

Anonymous said...

I don't know you but read your blog regularly. I am so sorry. I'm praying.

Anonymous said...

I just whispered a prayer for you as I began to read the second paragraph of your post... I pray for strength and, one day, complete health for you. God bless you and your husband. I will not forget you each night as I pray.
-Jennifer (an anonymous reader who found you through someone else's blog)

Meagan said...

I'm praying! Keep your head up! And stay strong..you will get through this! =)

Future.cell.tech said...

Lindsey, I hope you got my email. Please know that I am here for you if you need anything. My knees have hit the floor and my prayers have been lifted up to our Lord and Healer!!!

Anonymous said...

so sorry. will pray for you.

Beauty From Ashes said...

I've never commented before, but I have followed your journey. I love your honesty and your outlook on your journey plus we are about the same age too. I stumbled upon your blog from Glamorous Life of a Housewife. For some reason this morning, I felt lead to read your blog. I'm so glad I did. My heart dropped to my stomach when I read your post. Know that I'm praying for you and Brian and your family as you seek wisdom on the next steps, decisions, and the next coming days and weeks. May you feel God's loving arms and His perfect peace surround you and Brian in ways that you never have before.

In Him,
Ashley

mrs. darling said...

praying for you and brian both. thanks for the specific requests we can bring to His feet. and thanking Him in advance for the miracles He will be performing in your healing.

Esterbune said...

Lindsey; After Whitney called me yesterday telling me the news, I prayed Psalm 121 over you and will continue to pray for you and Brian. I know you know his promises. Cling to them. He is your KEEPER (gr. To protect, watch over, keep an eye on. He is your SHADE (protection, refuge, shadow, He protects in the shadow of his wings.)

The righteous cry (to plead for relief, to complain loudly) out, and the LORD hears (he listens) And delivers them out of their troubles (distress, anguish.). Ps. 34:17

The Lord is near (close) to those who have a broken (smash, injured) heart. I know your heart is broken, I understand. All of our hearts are broken on your behalf. We weep with you at this time. There will be a time of rejoicing again though. I promise. there will be.
I love you very, very much!!

Alabamamom said...

After reading this post I couldn't get this verse out of my head:
Zephaniah 3:17 (New Living Translation)

17 For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

Praying fervently for you.

Anonymous said...

I have written in the past that I too found your blog through another blog and it has been wonderful to read your joys and concerns the past couple of years. My mom is a cancer survivor also and I have prayed for your family through your treatments.

I just logged on and saw your health news today - I am going to pray even harder that this is just another bump in the road for you that will easily be taken care of.

Please know that someone in the Midwest is thinking of your family and praying hard for you all especially for strength for you and your husband.

God Bless.....

Anonymous said...

Lindsey - This is Laura (Bridges) Scoma from OBU eled stuff...

I have been following your blog after finding it online, and I just want you to know that I've got my fellow teachers as well as my family and church praying over you and Brian and your family and your doctors. Tears filled my eyes today as I read your post... and a prayer left my lips.

Loved By His Grace said...

My prayers and love are with you! Great comfort swept over my heart as I read your sweet words of confidence in our mighty God! Ashley has been such a blessing in my life and I want to bless your life in return. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do to help you. Nothing is too small to ask for...Nothing too big either. May His peace be with you, His arms of love around you, and His healing wings holding you tight.
In His Grip,
Kristi Cole
http://dkkmacole.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

I stumbled across your blog one day and now I read it b/c you are so encouraging. I don't know you, but you are such a woman of God and an inspiration. I'm praying for you and your family.

Q, La, and Gooner said...

I'm sorry. I pray for your healing.

the undomesticated wife said...

I'm sorry I'm just now seeing this (I haven't been keeping up on blogs lately)....you are definitely in my prayers!

Paula said...

Lindsey & Brian, I was so sorry to hear of your news but I know that from reading your blog that God is strengthening you through this trial. Our family will pray for strength, patience, and peace that passes all understanding.
We will also pray for your extended family. I know in trials like this, Mom's and Dad's want to fix it all, it's not their job to fix. We will also pray for Chelsea, I know that she loves her sister! You are truly blessed and prayed over