"If I go to sleep now, I can still sleep for 4 hours before I get up. . . Okay, now if I go to sleep, I'll have 3 1/2 hours left before my alarm goes off." The frustrating thoughts continually ran through my brain as I watched the minutes tick away. I tossed. I turned. I covered up. I uncovered. I coughed. I stretched out. I balled up. I breathed deeply. I exhaled slowly. Nothing seemed to quiet my mind and soothe me into slumber.
"Just forget it!" I argued with my body. "Get up. It doesn't matter that you don't even have to work today, or that you have a busy day ahead. Kiss those extra hours of sleep goodbye and get up."
I unplugged my cell phone from the charger and quietly tip-toed across our bedroom to make my quick escape, so as not to disturb my resting husband who did have to report to work. Unfortunately, I wasn't silent enough. I woke him. I quickly explained my dilemma and exited the room.
After spending well over an hour just laying in the bed, pondering life and all of its ins and outs, I had a deep desire to sit with my Lord for a while. I felt him drawing me to Him. Do you know what I mean? When you just have this insatiable thirst to be with God?
Thursday had been a big day in our relationship, the one between God and me. He had shown His perfect, dad-like care for me in a real, authentic tangible way, and I was deeply moved by His generosity.
You see, medical expenses have been an enormous worry for me. Not that I doubted that the Lord would provide, but just that Brian and I would have this burdensome debt to overcome. I didn't want that to plague our financial future. We've had countless bills pouring in throughout the past several months, and I've just been filing them and reconciling them with insurance statements. Well, yesterday two more bills greeted me as I collected my mail. I thought, "Okay, I need to sit down and figure out exactly how much we owe. " As I reviewed each invoice and followed up with each provider, I found that we are responsible for very little. Can you imagine what an enormous weight this took from my shoulders? Here I am, a young newlywedded woman, thinking, "Oh my gosh! What are we going to do? I'm having 2 major surgeries and hospital stays, 6 rounds of chemo, 52 Herceptin treatments, cat scans, MRIs, bone scans, heart scans, ultrasounds, mammograms, biopsies, and numerous blood tests, injections, and prescriptions coming my way within a one year period." My head was spinning when I learned that 100% of most of these things would be covered by my insurance benefits. And, the hospital is actually sending me a check because I overpaid. Folks, God is good!
So, I'm once again thankful. I'm thankful that God woke me up with a hunger to praise Him today. I'm thankful that He, through the provision of insurance, took care of ALL of my needs.