Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I'm no Britney.

Ok, I'll have to admit, some days are harder than others on the old cancer circuit. Some days, I blow and go through the day with ease and gusto. But, today hasn't been one of those days. Sure, I worked today. I did my job. I survived. Unfortunately, that's about all that I managed to do - SURVIVE. I'm just going to do a bit of venting today. If you've ever had the experiencing of waking up every morning and wondering if you're going to find a pile of hair on your pillow, please leave me a comment and tell me how you managed this. I know, "It's just hair. It's only 18 weeks. It'll grow back. You can cover it with a hat or wig." Blah Blu Blah Blu Blah. I've heard all of this, but maybe you don't understand. I'm a vain woman. I'll admit it. I like to look pretty. I like to put on makeup. I like to wear dresses. I like to look nice.

So, I say all of this to say that my hair is still hanging on tight. Everyone says, "It'll start coming out in clumps on day 14." Well, Friday is day 14 for me, and it's about to eat my lunch. The anticipation of looking like an alien is terrible, probably worse than the actual hair loss. Anyway, I know that this, too, is temporary. And, it will pass. Until then, I think that we should all sign on to Britney's style trend. :)

25 comments:

Shannon said...

Gosh girl, I'm sorry!! Ok, so I don't know your pain..but I'll be bald by my 40's...seriously. My hair is SO thin up top..it's insane.

Melissa Ellen said...

I understand and I don't think there is anything bad about you feeling upset about losing your hair. You will still look beautiful though! We can still have our priorities straight and our blessings counted and be a bit bummed about circumstance. I'm proud of you - and I know you won't look like an alien. Please vent though! It is important. You have been and still are soooo strong through all of this. Let us help you when we can. I'd give you my hair but its ugly!

Glamorous Life of a House Wife said...

You will be a cute baldie! I just know it. And you might decide to keep a super short haircut that you never thought you could pull off before! I'm happy tho that your hair is hanging on tight. That would be such a weird feeling to wake up and lose clumps of hair. You will do great and look beautiful--continue to vent as needed. We are here to listen! :) Love that lil head of yours!!!

Sweet Simplicity said...

I can't begin to imagine how you are feeling. My heart goes out to you. I wish I had great words of wisdom. I do know that I would be very angry about losing my hair. I am a vain person! :) A lady in my office went through chemo this summer and her hair has grown back but it is still very short. I actually prefer the way her hair looks now! She looks so good! I'm sure you will look much better bald than you think! You are a beautiful girl inside and out!

Julie Adams said...

Today is a battle. I told you it isn't going to be a victory every day. I don't want you to have to face losing your hair because it is such a big part of us as women... but, there is just no other way to beat this monster. You are so much cuter than Britney Spears anyway.

Megan said...

Never feel like you can't speak your mind. Glad your hair has hung on for this long. Praying for you.

Rebecca said...

I'm glad you vented! Keep it up if you need to. I'm praying for you.

one of nettie's girls said...

I have a co-worker who went through this. And, don't think that it makes you shallow. Vent all you want-you've earned the right with your amazing strength.

Anonymous said...

I wish I had the right words to say here. My mom went through breast cancer and chemo when I was in high school. I remember how difficult it was for her to lose her hair. I believe God has given us the desire to be physically beautiful, and that is not wrong. Sometimes our obsession with it is, but the desire itself is God-given. Your strength and faith are inspiring, and your Father is so proud of you.

The King is enthralled by your beauty. Honor him for he is your Lord. Psalm 45:11 You are always more beautiful than anything to your Jesus and he is crazy about you!

Leslie said...

Vent any time, please! I echo the encouragement of my fellow bloggers and can't wait to see what kind of cute looks you come up with for your new do, when that day comes!

Any recommendations for things we shouldn't miss in Beaver's Bend?

AngiDe- Nana's Box said...

Hey you should check out this site:
http://www.baldisbeautiful.org/

I don't understand what you are going through but maybe this site might help a little. Hang in there!

Angie
"Nana's Box"

P.S. did you get that package I sent?

Cari said...

I love your honesty! Absolutely love it! My sister was super cute bald, I have no doubt you will be just as beautiful.

countrygirl3031 said...

OMG Lindsey...I'm so sorry you're having to go through all this. You are definitely more beautiful than Britney....but please vent all you want. We are here for ya!

Hugz,
Michele

Lindsey said...

Aw dear I'm so sorry. I understand this is hard, but you will look beautiful no matter what!

erinkern said...

Vent away. No one WANTS to lose their hair--this, in no way, makes you superficial. It makes you normal.

Tanya said...

I just want to cry for you reading this. While I never had to go through this, my son did. Of course with him being a boy, it wasn't as big of a deal and we just did the first thing that came to mind...temporary tattoos on the head! He loved it.

You are a BEAUTIFUL woman and will be gorgeous without hair too. Your beauty radiates from the inside. I wish I could say something to make you feel better...only time can do that! Hugs and prayers for you.

Liz said...

I've watched my close friend lose her hair twice. It was hard, no matter which way you spin it. I wish I could give you a big hug today, I'm sorry. On the other hand, I've visited the wig shops and let me tell you... I'd have five or six just for fun. Rupunzel one day, Meg Ryan the next. There has to be SOME silver lining to it!

the undomesticated wife said...

Bless your heart. ((hugs)) But I guarantee you'll look beautiful, hair or not! Hang in there!

Amber said...

I have absolutely no way to understand or know how you are feeling. BUT...my heart is breaking. It's not the end of the world...it's hair. BUT...it matters. You are so incredibly beautiful...you will totally pull it off. I'm sure you don't feel this way but...you are inspiring! You are handling this with such dignity and grace...
Praying for peace and strength through this journey for you.

Tova Darling said...

Oh, honey! I can't even imagine how hard this is for you. :( I'm so sorry. I have to say, though, that the first thing I thought when I first looked at your picture a week or so ago was "That girl has got the prettiest face!!" So, you're definitely going to look gorgeous, hair or no hair. Maybe you can bring back the trend of wearing scarves. Very elegant.

Dots said...

You're so pretty... you'll be super fab with or without the locks. I saw two close family friends through this... so I know irrespective of what I or anyone else says, seeing your locks away would not be so easy... but the good part is, it'll all come back, and probably come back better than it is now... and till the time it is on an outward journey, try a scarf once in a while..
God bless..

Alabamamom said...

I went wig shopping with my sister before her chemo started. It was fun seeing some of the wigs out there but not fun when her hair actually fell out. You need to vent because it's hard and if anyone tells you different they're not being honest. I'll be praying specifically for when that time comes.

jamiewhite said...

You will be beautiful. I will admit that losing my hair was one of the hardest things! I cried a lot. My mom actually gave me a buzz cut when i was loosing big clumps. I kept reminding myself that because I'm bald, the chemo drugs are working. It was hard to swallow. Enjoy cute winter hats. It was fun when friends brought me hats, I knew that they were thinking about me. Another great thing is head rubs and kisses. Smile when you can, it will illuminate your entire face, and people will be blown away!

Bee said...

I have a close friend who has lost her hair, and no, it is not easy.

Please vent anytime you need to. That doesn't mean you're ungrateful.

Hang in there. You have a lot of people who love you.

Amy said...

You are beautiful..inside and out. Hair or no hair.

God Bless you, sweet lady!

Amy:)